Everywhere but nowhere...........................

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Road Less Traveled

There are a few books which i had to relentlessly read a couple of times, as they hold so much, i refuse to let it go before i consider the content thoroughly explored and sank into.One of them is The Road Less Traveled by the late M.Scott Peck (1936-2005), which was justly the New York Times bestseller.

I was just browsing the shelves of a bookstore in KLIA, and the title of this book caught my attention sufficiently enough to plunk it into my nav bag.And that was quite a while now, and recently i reread it again when i got back from Rome.It was an enriching read, even for the second time.

Through his vast experience of being a well honoured psychiatrist (and let me also add a magna cum laude from Harvard), he has carefully observed his patients throughout his career and therefore was in a position that enables him to understand the deepest core of human development that is often unseen, namely the realm of psychology and spirituality( as in betterment of self and not Godliness/religion).I totally agree with him on the dire need for all of us to further understand ourselves in these two realms.A recent incident in which a late colleague of mine resulted to ending his own life has displayed the fact that unresolved conflict within ourselves can cause us to take the easy way out.Or at least easy for our strangely conflicting thoughts.And strangeness are often the result of lacking in understanding.The thing is that with our thoughts, it can be an extremely unfamiliar territory, and this has led to the birth of psychiatry and psychology.
Read it.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


She stood there, oblivious to the crowd passing by her.It was appropriate to weep, she thinks, but her tears was very much refrained.It was not done consciously, but with every reasoning she has in herself, she realised she never really knew him.

She shifts her sight alternatively between the wooden frame cercueil and his face, which is lacking in colour and emotion.He's no longer what he was,and that sight of him at rest seems almost unfamilliar to her.Cold and almost intangible.

And then her mind seemed wholly taken by the reminiscence of the past.

That even though all must have a designer, but he, just exist.

That his truth is too great for her.And hence the crux is not reasoning, but love.

That all that is good is done for his glory, and if otherwise, so that his love is displayed.

That what her forefather has done, is cursed, and she, also, as a consequence.

That she is cursed if she know not him, even if she lives piously.

That his anger, which was evidently brute to her, was love.

That he loves so much of this world, that his one and only son, was begotten.

That he was personal, there, listening, responding to her.

That he was three, but one.And three.

That those who have not seen, and believed, are blessed.

And then she looked at him again.He was there no more.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Before sunset

me : "et la cle?"
réceptioniste : " Oui..voila la cle..eeh voo sah lehvu oh shaw dui?"
m : "uhh..non fransay..en angleh see voo pleh???"
r : "oh sorry..you go out?today?"
m : "oh yes..maybe..i sleep...and i wake..tuwher effeh..maybe"
r : "first time?eiffel tower?"
m : "oh non non...i've been there.sesst parfait..beautiful.."
r : "ok..metro..airport....bin hakeim stop"
m : "oui oui.. merci bouku..i have to go...ohr-vhawh!!"

13 hours at 900km/h. I need sleep.

And so i woke.Doesn't feel right coming all the way here and not get out.Like always, the first step was difficult:leaving the bed and look proper.

Almost an hour of swapping metro trains, and i was there.Again.And it almost is a ritual, i had to look for it.

CREPES.I love you darling.Zhuh temm.Always.

Its my faithful companion for the walk.There's none like the ones made by parisians.Honestly, i don't even know what it is that makes it so darn good..some flour..cheese..ham...egg...i can almost do it myself.Couple of euros and that makes my lunch.

And just like it did a few months back.. that huge tower still smells of mystique, its quite funny actually.Architecturally it is not a marvel by any standard.Metal pieces bolted together.Or riveted.Whatever.A local once told me that there was a novelist who was known to have his lunch in the restaurant in the tower almost everyday, and when asked why, said it was the only place in Paris where you CAN'T actually see the tower.It was an eyesore to many of the parisians, and some challenged it to be torn down.

Yet as i walked, i cant help but to wonder how is it that it is associated with romantic tendencies.But somehow that reputation found its way to millions worldwide, parisians or non parisians alike.Man and women marvel at its structure, like i said i dunno y, but yeah, there is some sort of love element in its existence itself that goes beyond understanding.
Love is to have lost and found, and then its like a moment of epiphany, i understood what it is.

Its like a focal point on earth, where all the love in this world that is to have lost and found,regardless of its form , converge on this very location:

48º 51' 32" North,002º 17' 45" East .

And that is exactly where eiffel tower is erected.With all the energy that is generated by love itself, it has found its way to a specific point on earth where it can inhabit, and in its purest form, like how it was originally intended, can remain unharmed by, u know, us human.And right there, at that specific point, is where only purposeful living can exist for real.And that form of energy in itself is unable to leave that focal point, understandably,because well, its the only point where it finds solace.

And as if my spirit starts to pour more truth even as i was walking, it becomes evident to me that that peculiar energy will try every soul that visits Eiffel Tower,and in due process, will only leave with its seeker if it genuinely ascertains that such soul is worth inhabiting.

From that moment i understood why.

p/s: je suis ainsi complètement de merde, je sais. (fransay)
i'm so full of shit, i know. (english)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

n A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.
—Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic’s Dictionary

Sunday, January 08, 2006


First posting from an unfamilliar keyboard. No time change,here i am on the second day of my 5days borneo run, very much at home with negligible time change from home.Maintaining 8 hours ahead of the greenwich meridian, and a few longitute to the east of home only brings the sun up earlier in the morn, with the rest of the tropical element remaining unchanged.

To the unfamiliar,Borneo, being the third largest island in the world, is of the western Pacific Ocean in the Malay Archipelago between the Sulu and Java seas.The sultanate of Brunei is on the northwest coast; the rest of the island is divided between Indonesia and Malaysia.

Ok...geography aside...

Tonite is very well..a notin to do nite..the rest are basically to worn out for any actions.And thence...me and this darn blog.Its me in the business lounge at the Parkcity Royal in Miri ,figuring hard what the hell there is to blog.And well..plagiarism is just splendid for times like this.This would be a cut and paste art on something which i find rather familliar, and well, may just prove educational to you sorry arse out there.Help yourselves.

What Women Say & What They Really Mean

1)She says: "I don't want to ruin our friendship."What she means: I am not attracted to you, or I don't feel enough chemistry to date you -- but I do like you as friend.
Why she does this: She probably does want to remain friends, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by admitting that she doesn't feel the same attraction for you.
What you should do: Don't take it personally; she just doesn't feel the same chemistry as you do. Take the hint and work on being friends with her, if that's what you want.

2)She says: "I'm just so busy with work right now." What she means: I am not interested in fitting you into my schedule.
Why she does this: She wants to let you down easy. Instead of being blunt, she is hoping you'll just get the picture.
What you should do: When a woman likes a man, she will always find time for him -- no matter what her schedule is like. So don't kid yourself into thinking that the situation might change. Instead, move on right away.
She says: "Are you seeing anyone right now?" What she means: I might like to submit an application for the position of your girlfriend.
Why she does this: She wants to make sure she is not wasting her precious flirting energy man who is already spoken for.
What you should do: Answer honestly, and then hit her up for her phone number.

3)She says: "Do you really want to go to that restaurant/movie/dinner party?" What she means: I really don't want to go to.
Why she does this: She doesn't want to go, but she doesn't want to appear stubborn either. She is probably hoping you'll sense her hesitation and come up with an alternate plan that pleases her.
What you should do: If you have your heart set on going to that particular destination, stick to your guns. Otherwise, you might want to switch up in order to please her. Remember this: If you keep her happy, she'll keep you happy.

She says: "You have a knack for dealing with kids. They really seem to respond to you." What she means: I am contemplating eventually having children with you and am wondering where you stand in that department.
Why she does this: An indirect question is her way of feeling you out without freaking you out.
What you should do: Don't freak out. She is probably thinking very distantly into the future.however, you absolutely positively know that you never want kids, this would be a good time to say it.

4)She says: "Where is this relationship going?" What she means: I would like us to graduate to a more serious, exclusive relationship.
hy she does this: She wants you to be the one to suggest exclusivity.
What you should do: This depends on whether or not you actually want exclusivity. If so, suggest it. If not, let her know that you care about her, but are not interested in being exclusive right now.

5)She says: "I feel so close to you right now. You know me so well." What she means: I am starting to feel the l-word, but I don't want to be the first to say it.
Why she does this: It's a scary thing to be the first to say "I love you." It's much easier for her to hint and hope that you'll take the plunge first.
What you should do: Do not -- under any circumstances -- say the l-word if you don't mean it. If you do feel it, then go ahead; otherwise, don't say anything. In the long run, you'll be happy not to get entangled in such a lie.

6)She says: "I feel like our relationship is stuck in a routine right now." What she means: I want you to be more romanticand spontaneous, and surprise me more. I need you to pay more attention to my needs.
Why she does this: She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and admit that you are, in part, the cause of the rut.
u should do: You don't need to change your personality entirely, but it wouldn't kill you to surprise her every once in a while. Call her out of the blue and tell her you're taking her for dinner on a spontaneous weekend away, or just surprise her with her favorite chocolates.

7)She says: "Do you get along well with your mother?" What she means: Are you a family man?
Why she does this: A man who gets along with his mother tends to be more loyal, sensitive and devoted -- at least that's the stereotype that a lot of women buy.
you should do: Talk about how close you and your mother are; you could even tell a stories. Just enough to affirm that yes, you get along with her.

With regards to the original author, i dedicate such astounding breakthrough in modern day science, and such delicate task of deciphering the ambiguos language of women.(to those uninformed, 'women' shares a common origin and ancestral form with the tribal Qu of Ranai, commonly known for having means of communication so complex, that Universiti Kebangsaan, led by Prof.Majid Harun Yahya from Fakulti Kajian Komunikasi was called in to uncode their arbitrary signals and language.

I'm bored.It explains it.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Sunday, November 20, 2005

This Morning On Approach

On approach back from Singapore this morning.Heard sumone did a missapproach as we were about to land.Thought the clown in front had screwed the approach, much to our humor.
Only when we got closer, we knew why.KLIA was overcasted by cloud at at an awesome 300+ feet.WTF!!!!!!!!!

Neway this pic is high on demand now due to its rarity,appreciated by aviators, of course.Took it at bout 1500ft.That thang jutting out is the KLIA Control Tower, and the cloud gap on the left is the vortex generated by the plane ahead of us.

WTF!!!Very rare indeed.