Tuesday, June 12, 2007

He


She stood there, oblivious to the crowd passing by her.It was appropriate to weep, she thinks, but her tears was very much refrained.It was not done consciously, but with every reasoning she has in herself, she realised she never really knew him.

She shifts her sight alternatively between the wooden frame cercueil and his face, which is lacking in colour and emotion.He's no longer what he was,and that sight of him at rest seems almost unfamilliar to her.Cold and almost intangible.

And then her mind seemed wholly taken by the reminiscence of the past.





That even though all must have a designer, but he, just exist.


That his truth is too great for her.And hence the crux is not reasoning, but love.


That all that is good is done for his glory, and if otherwise, so that his love is displayed.


That what her forefather has done, is cursed, and she, also, as a consequence.


That she is cursed if she know not him, even if she lives piously.


That his anger, which was evidently brute to her, was love.


That he loves so much of this world, that his one and only son, was begotten.


That he was personal, there, listening, responding to her.


That he was three, but one.And three.


That those who have not seen, and believed, are blessed.






And then she looked at him again.He was there no more.














Monday, June 04, 2007

Before sunset




me : "et la cle?"
réceptioniste : " Oui..voila la cle..eeh voo sah lehvu oh shaw dui?"
m : "uhh..non fransay..en angleh see voo pleh???"
r : "oh sorry..you go out?today?"
m : "oh yes..maybe..i sleep...and i wake..tuwher effeh..maybe"
r : "first time?eiffel tower?"
m : "oh non non...i've been there.sesst parfait..beautiful.."
r : "ok..metro..airport....bin hakeim stop"
m : "oui oui.. merci bouku..i have to go...ohr-vhawh!!"

13 hours at 900km/h. I need sleep.

And so i woke.Doesn't feel right coming all the way here and not get out.Like always, the first step was difficult:leaving the bed and look proper.

Almost an hour of swapping metro trains, and i was there.Again.And it almost is a ritual, i had to look for it.

CREPES.I love you darling.Zhuh temm.Always.

Its my faithful companion for the walk.There's none like the ones made by parisians.Honestly, i don't even know what it is that makes it so darn good..some flour..cheese..ham...egg...i can almost do it myself.Couple of euros and that makes my lunch.

And just like it did a few months back.. that huge tower still smells of mystique, its quite funny actually.Architecturally it is not a marvel by any standard.Metal pieces bolted together.Or riveted.Whatever.A local once told me that there was a novelist who was known to have his lunch in the restaurant in the tower almost everyday, and when asked why, said it was the only place in Paris where you CAN'T actually see the tower.It was an eyesore to many of the parisians, and some challenged it to be torn down.

Yet as i walked, i cant help but to wonder how is it that it is associated with romantic tendencies.But somehow that reputation found its way to millions worldwide, parisians or non parisians alike.Man and women marvel at its structure, like i said i dunno y, but yeah, there is some sort of love element in its existence itself that goes beyond understanding.
Love is to have lost and found, and then its like a moment of epiphany, i understood what it is.

Its like a focal point on earth, where all the love in this world that is to have lost and found,regardless of its form , converge on this very location:

48º 51' 32" North,002º 17' 45" East .

And that is exactly where eiffel tower is erected.With all the energy that is generated by love itself, it has found its way to a specific point on earth where it can inhabit, and in its purest form, like how it was originally intended, can remain unharmed by, u know, us human.And right there, at that specific point, is where only purposeful living can exist for real.And that form of energy in itself is unable to leave that focal point, understandably,because well, its the only point where it finds solace.

And as if my spirit starts to pour more truth even as i was walking, it becomes evident to me that that peculiar energy will try every soul that visits Eiffel Tower,and in due process, will only leave with its seeker if it genuinely ascertains that such soul is worth inhabiting.


From that moment i understood why.





p/s: je suis ainsi complètement de merde, je sais. (fransay)
i'm so full of shit, i know. (english)